Chasing Peace
by ThisxIsxMadness
Summary: Naruto looked at the door. Behind it, people died. He'd been waiting for this moment for so long. "I should just go in," he told himself. After all, he lost all reason to live. But for some reason, he just couldn't do it. Possible NaruSasu.


**PLEASE READ, KIND OF IMPORTANT**

Hey =] So, this is my first fan fiction in about 3 years. I'm thrilled! And then again, I'm nervous. I haven written seriously in quite a while, so many things may be grammatically incorrect. If so, or, if you just think anything needs fixing, please let me know. I hope my story attracts readers =] I intended to make this story a real-life story (but of course without Naruto characters) so everything before when Naruto comes in, was a random idea I had, so I wrote it down and was all excited but I didn't know what to do with it. And then, while reading a bunch of Naruto fics I was like "I really, REALLY want to write a fanfiction." And then, BAM. Here it is. Also, in the summary I put POSSBILE narusasu because 1) I haven't really thought as far ahead as how the relationship would form and whatnot 2) In general, if I do pair him up with anyone, it'll be Sasuke, because hell, I love them as a couple and I've been reading so many Narusasu/sasunaru fics I can't picture him with anyone else. Sorry If it's a disappointment, but yeah most likely there will be romance, I just don't know when or how xD ALSO(I know I'm rambling .) I know this first chapter is kind of confusing, as far as the beginning goes, and I know his 'depression' doesn't really show, but I wanted to this chapter to really be an intro and explain one of the main underlying reasons behind it. The beginning will make more sense in the next chapter.

**DISCLAIMER: **I would rather not get sued -_-; so, I don't own Naruto or any of the Naruto characters that will appear in the story. But, the idea of the story is my own. XD

Some called him the devil. Whereas some called him a god.

At the end of the day though, he was a regular person, like you or me.

He walked the crowded streets, strolled through parks, and made a living , like the average, everyday person. He wanted to be called whatever you were comfortable with, because most of the people who saw him would be dead soon anyway.

Dead.

He didn't like that word. He felt its rather morbid, when in reality, the art of dying isn't.

He preferred to say 'contnuing on' because to him, that's what people did when they 'died'. Their souls moved on, to something beautiful, or perhaps a new life, ready to begin again.

Life is like water, it never disappears.

It stays amongst the earth for years and years, in some way shape or form. He was so fascinated with death because that was his job. He killed people.

Killed.

He didn't like that word either. He preferred to say 'removing them of their troubles'. Which he did. It's what he got payed to do, people _payed him_ to die.

The sad part of it all though, was that no one ever looked for the people he killed. They were never on the news, or on flyers throughout town, or even on a small section of a milk box. The truth was that no one ever cared about the people he killed. Hence, them wanting to die in the first place.

_He_ cared though. He didn't know a thing about those people. He didn't know where they were born, what their favorite things were, or what their everyday life was truly like.

But, he knew pain.

He knew what it was like for anger and sadness to rip someone apart.

He was an older man, and it was unfortunate to say that although he experienced many hardships in his life, most of the lives he took had it worse beyond what he could have ever imagined. These people lived every day in turmoil.

Some of them, walked around with a smile, fooling everyone into thinking they were okay, but if you looked closely, there was no light in their eyes.

Others simply couldn't hide the fact that they didn't want to live another day. They spent their days on autopilot.

They were numb and simply tired of what life so 'generously' continued to throw at them. They didn't need any more of, what people would call,' life lessons'. They didn't want anymore pain, worries or drama.

Just eternal peace.

* * *

><p>"God. dammit!"<p>

Naruto flew awake, flailing underneath a pile of blankets.

His first day at work and he was already late.

Just his luck.

He ran to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and threw on some clothes

"_Ugh, no time for a shower, I'm going to feel disgusting_" he thought to himself.

He grabbed his keys and ran out the door, tie hanging losely around his neck and pants half dragging off his waist, hoping to catch the next bus.

He was going to work at Konoha publishing agency. Naruto wasn't a writer or anything, but his grandfather Jiraiya gave him the job of reading stories and deeming them worthy of publication. Jiraiya gave Naruto the job because he was starting to notice that Naruto wasn't doing anything with himself. He was worried about him and wanted Naruto to start doing something productive.

Secretly, Naruto loved to read.

Most people wouldn't expect it, because to most Naruto wasn't the brightest seed in the world. But, when Naruto found something of interest, he consumed a book in one sitting.

Reading created a whole other world for Naruto. He loved vivid descriptions and words flowed and created pictures in his mind. He was a rather picky reader, because the books he chose to read had to be a written a certain way, and have an interesting story line to peak his interest(Another reason why Jiraiya picked him, he felt Naruto would be the perfect critic).

It was the only source of relief Naruto had from his reality, except for drinking. Which helped to a certain extent but at the end of the day his problems were still there, and the only thing he was left with was a hangover.

Naruto had unruly light blond hair and startling blue eyes. He also had tanned skin and a pretty fit body. He had the potential to be a heartthrob. He was athletic, good looking and was very charismatic. But, he went unnoticed. He didn't know whether it was the fact that there were too many good looking people in the world for him to be noticed, or if he had some type of odd aura, but no one talked to him.

He had a few relationships that went horribly wrong, and a few friends who barely spoke to him anymore, but besides that, he was a loner. He was born a loner.

His parents both died before he was born, leaving him to a family that really could care less about him. The only people who stepped forward to take care of him were his grandparents, Jiraiya and Tsunade. Naruto had a strong relationship with them. They meant everything to him. So he gave all his love and devotion to them. 12 year old Naruto was stricken when he came home one day to find Tsunade hanging from a belt on the shower pole in the bathroom, and a bottle of sake and pills on the floor.

He knew Tsunade loved to drink, and that she had some problems, but he never imagined she would end her life like that.

When she was drunk she often laughed about all her problems, and shooed them away like they were something from the past. He didn't know that secretly, she was hurting beyond what anyone could see.

Her death broke his heart to pieces. He loved Tsunade, and she loved him and treated him like her own son. They fought together, and rejoiced together.

Her funeral was on a cold, rainy day.

A few people showed up to give Narutp and Jiraiya their condolences, but that was it. Naruto was furious. Tsunade was a kind, caring woman. She was indeed stern and was, at times, difficult to talk to, and she had a few bad habits (who didn't)

But overall, she was a great person, and she always stood up for the people she cared for and what she believed in.

And here she was, lifeless in a coffin with no one but Naruto and Jiraiya by her side.

Naruto hated how selfish and uncaring the world was. Jiraiya tried to explain to him that this was just a part of life, and he had to suck it up and move on. But, it was impossible.

To Naruto, that moment showed that in reality was cruel, and in the end, you have no one.

Jiraiya was effected by her death too. He started to drink, at first on occasion, in rememberence of her, but then it turned heavy.

It deeply effected his writing, which was bad because that's how Jiraiya made a living. He wouldn't admit it, but he was spiraling downward, and fast.

He loved Tsunade, and although he experienced many deaths and hardships in his life, and was a generally strong person, her death caught him off guard.

It hurt him to know she wouldn't be around any longer. When Naruto found out he was drinking he went insane. He wasn't going to lose another person he was close to. How could Jiraiya do that to him right when they just lost Tsunade?

Naruto and Jiraiya didn't talk for a long while. But, Jiraiya realized what he was doing was wrong, and needed Naruto as much as Naruto needed him. So, he promised Naruto to stop drinking, focused on his writing, and together they helped each other move foreward.

Except, Naruto never really moved on.

Prior to Tsunade's death, Naruto was the light of everyone's life.

He was known as one of the biggest pranksters in Konoha, but he was harmless. And with a big grin and a playful gleam in his eyes, people just laughed it off. He was always optimistic and he always had high goals for himself, and no one could of changed that.

Until Tsunade died.

Then his world turned upside down, for the worst.

* * *

><p>Naruto rode the bus for 30 minutes, before getting off in front of a huge building. He stared in awe at the words 'Konoha Publishing Agency' on top.<p>

He was rather nervous. He never had a job before, and he lately he had a hard time commiting to anything. But, was determined to not let his grandfather down.

"Naruto, you're late"

Jiraiya sighed, as the blond hair boy practically ran out of the elevators, hoping to go unnoticed.

"Ah, sorry gramps, woke up late,"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head and grinned, a tactic he used to get out of his problems.

"Yeah yeah, well don't let it happen again. You're in room e5, you already have tons of papers waiting for you. Good luck, lunch is at 1 and you get out at 8. Have fun."

Jiraiya handed him his key card, a few bucks and walked away.

"Yeah, tons,"

Naruto grumbled, shoving the money in his pocket and looking up ahead to find some sign leading to his room.

After wandering around a bit, looking at people typing away furiously in cubicles and girls with tied up buns and straight skirts walking hastily with cups of coffee and paperwork, he finally found e5.

He swiped his key card and stepped in.

Inside, was a medium sized desk with 2 draws. On top, was a neatly stacked pile of papers and a computer.

He had one of those rolling massage chairs (which made him thrilled) and right next to his desk was a wide window, with an amazing view of the city.

"Heh, the old man picked the perfect room," He chuckled.

It was just the atmosphere he needed to read and really be able to get into a book.

He sat down and placed his key card on the table.

"Hm, so I guess make 2 piles, for the good stories and the bad stories, er right?" He asked himself(a bad habit he had).

Naruto glanced at the huge pile and sighed. This was going to take a while.

He grabbed the first stapled stack and set it down in front of him. The first stack was called

"The Unexpected" by an american writer named John Wright.

Naruto decided that the title was interesting, so he flipped to read the summary of the story.

It was about a young jewish boy who was hiding in a cabin during World War 2, and how a german soilder ended up taking sympathy for the boy, and helping him, but something big happens, and both of their lives end up in danger.

Naruto really didn't like historical fiction stories, but he decided to give it a shot and read it.

He remembered Jiraiya telling him that he didn't have to read the whole thing, but he had to read enough to deem whether it was an overall 'good' or 'bad' story.

He also had to be 'harsh' because Konoha publishing agency was one of the most in demand publishing agencies in the world. Hundreds of authors sent their stories to them everyday, hoping to be recognized and become famous, but they couldn't help everyone. And KPA only accepted only about 10% of what they recieved, so they were known as a quite critical and as having extremely high standards. Naruto couldn't just let any thing qualify as good.

Naruto ended up reading the whole text in an hour.

He couldn't put it down. The author created a touching situation and the main character absolutely broke his heart. The boy in the book watched his parents die right in front of his eyes by a ruthless Nazi because they were outside past their curfew, trying to find their son something to eat. The boy ran. knowing he couldn't go back to the old house, so he ended up deep in the woods inside an abandoned cabin. He slept on the floor, and ate whatever bits of food he could find, this included insects that he would roast (a survival technique he learned from his parents).

Then came the day when the soilders began to evacuate the Jews.

The boy quivered in fear as he peeked through his window and saw a small group of them casually walking toward his cabin.

The boy ran upstairs into a closet when he heard the crunching of leaves in front of the door.

One of the soilders walked inside, inspecting the place, for any signs of someone living there. The boy heard the footsteps go up the stairs, and into the room where he was hiding.

The boy closed his eyes and prayed, hoping to god that he would stay safe. It was quiet until the door was whisked open and the boy and the soilder were left staring at each other, the boy shell shocked.

He asked if the boy was alone, and he said yes.

The german had pity on him, and left saying that no one was in the cabin.

On occasion he would bring the boy food and water, and make sure he was well.

Unfortunately, in the end, the german's comrades found out he was helping the boy, and so a group of Nazi's tied the boy up and burned the cabin down. The boy died.

Naruto wiped tears that trickled down his cheeks.

It was awful, but Naruto wanted a drink.

That ending made Naruto terribly depressed. It was times like this when he remembered how cruel reality is.

Naruto took a deep breath through his nose, held it for five seconds, and let it out through his mouth.

These mood swings Naruto experienced, came often. And he knew if he didn't do something soon he would go into this indescribable rage. That's how it always happened.

He continued this steady breathing, until he began to feel normal again. Or, what would be considered normal for him.

He sighed and reached for another stack.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>So, there you go. I reallllly hope you guys liked it ^_^ Please review and give me some comments, I 3 constructive criticism.<p> 


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